Is Jon Bon Jovi Dead? No, He’s Just In Jersey

Posted December 20

“Jon Bon Jovi Dead” may be holding court at the top of Google trends at present, but, well, you can’t believe everything you read on the Internet. In order to dispel the rumor of his untimely demise, Bon Jovi posted the above photo to his Facebook Page. Very nice, Jon, although we beg to differ on your definition of heaven.

The rumor of the musician’s death was first started, it seems, on a WordPress blog called Daily New Blog International, whose “About” page reads: “This is an example of a WordPress page, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many pages like this one or sub-pages as you like and manage all of your content inside of WordPress.” Sounds super official, right?

Obviously, this extremely reputable, entirely professional-looking blog is bringing the hard news. I mean, the only other post on the blog is “Megan Fox is the 14th Hottest Woman of All Time: HIV POSITIVE,” if you don’t count that “Hello World!” post that WordPress spits out when you first create a blog. Rock solid, that.

We’re not sure how such a shoddy-looking release spawned a death rumor that warranted a response from Mr. Livin’ On a Prayer himself. We can only guess that the holidaze season has finally succeeded in softening the brains of millions, rendering our collective consciousness a shuddering Jell-o mold, liable to quiver at the slightly provocation. Might be a good time to ask your parents for a pony, kids.

By Brenna Ehrlich