If there’s one aspect of a parent’s life that a child would rather be kept in the dark about, it’s the details surrounding the conception of said child. But, but! What if those details were accompanied by some hot jams? Would that make a difference? Probably not, but we shall sally forth regardless. Meet: The Byrds and the BeeGees (that’s a play on band names, young ones), a hack that provides the imagined playlist to your glorious, blessed creation.
The hack, which was pounded out at Boston’s Rethink Music conference, asks users to plug in their birthdate and check a box deeming your Dad “smooth” or not. After the nausea passes, you can then read a description of the night you were fashioned by storks and moonbeams. Mine goes thusly:
“I believe the date was April 1, 1984. Life was perfect. The spring weather was particularly nice, the Baltimore Orioles had won the World Series and Footloose by Kenny Loggins was the #1 song in America. We had just gotten back from dinner at this fancy Italian restaurant, and I wanted to set the mood with the right music. Needless to say, your mother and I Got. It. On. Here are the songs…”
If you haven’t already started sobbing on the phone to your therapist, you can now check out the accompanying playlist of smooth jams that your Dad apparently employed to make you manifest.
I would ask why Dad was the only one in control of the stereo, but, then, I think, my brain might explode.